The model of the day: Anabela Belikova

Old habit die hard.

So I'm sitting here now, doing nothing but struggeling with my thoughts. It's not easy beeing me, you see. Lately everything in my life been upside-down and I couldn't do anything to make even something better!

Yesterday I made the decission that'll probaply change my entire plan for the future., and somehow I simply don't care, which is not like me at all!

Still there is one thing, one little thing, on-one can take away from me.. my mind. Without my mind I would had gained as much as ever these couple of weeks. But I manage, don't ask me how, to keep the controll of myself and stay slim. Isn't that lovely?

And I won't stop fighting, for what it's worth!

Saw it. Read it...

And Hon, I just want you to know that I do care.
You believe I let you down, and yes I don't blame you. But you have to understand and respect that the decission of mine -leaving- was all I could do!

I mean I could never let you down (would never, for that matter) like this if it wasn't something important, and what I desire the most is, I assure you.

Think about it for once. If someone notified you for suffering from an illness, you would had done the same... or maybe not, sorry.... you would had told me, wouldn't you?

But they called me sick- probably still do! Do you know how that's feels?

I mean they even had intentions of putting me in some kind of cell!

And why stay when moving in the first place was because of it?

So to tell the truth I don't regrett it, just not telling you, or leave you a note, clue or anything!

I can't help everyone's unparelled lack of knowing what's important in life! And you were right about what you said Darling- as I always known, this is certainly no disease, in fact I'm just maknig something out of what I call nothing!

So that's why I can't bring myself to regrett the decission of mine.

About one thing you said made me - being a fighter... You were wrong, but you are not anymore, I believe! ´Cause the words of yours mabe me realize that I am better than this, that I don't have to take it anymore.

But I am still considering it, and I know you are to! Since oyu been feeling like me... So I guess we are pretty fucked-up, aren't we?

There is just one thing you have to know! YOU MATTER so incredibly much, and never ever dount that! Promise.


PS. I want to call you, but you know how much I suck at it, how I hate phones... But I knid of deserve it, don't I?

BE STRONG! BELIEVE!

Burberry & Balenciaga to kill/die for, literally!

Left to Right: Leather lace-up rubber soled platform biker boot & Braided strap rubber soled platform sandal by Burberry.

Suede cage bootie with suede sash by Balenciaga.

I'm in love with those, all of those! And like I mentioned, TO DIE AND TO KILL FOR!

So once again, I'm sorry for not writing more often. But I "kind of" told you guys the reason... however when school starts again, I'll write more often as in almost every day or every other day.

If I make it to August, that is, hopefully I will, right! Well, I been sort of lifeless since my dream was taken away, I just can't help myself with thinking that I would be better of... somewhere else.

Wel, talk to you another time. Have a great summer, or what's left of it at least.

Miranda Kerr

"If I could be like that I would give anything, just to live one day in her shoes!"

So my life is a living nightmare, seriously it's like hell! I don't know what to do, is there something (anything!)? Everyone (almost everyone) is against me, and the person who's not, doesn't have the power to do anything neither! God, I totally concidering IT now!

Well maybe I should just face it... I'm screwed! But I don't want that, and that's why I am considering IT!

Miranda is pretty f***ing perfect. And I am well aware now that I'll never look like her ever, I'm stuck with my discusting body!

A change to finaly start over?

This lovly model is something that you'll presumably never become! PURE PERFECTION! (I'm certinly not telling you this to blow your chances, just thought you be better of knowing!)

So, everything I've allways fought for been taken away. That's incredibly cruel to tell the truth! And how can someone be cruel like that? Well don't ask me, I'm the victim here! However myself, I've always thought that people are supposed to take care of themself and mind their own business. But apperently that's only my opinion. So this is why I haven't got the opportunity to write, and I'm sorry.

One question only: What do you do when your life are falling apart?

A) end it once and for all?

B) rebuild it?

C) or try to live the "falling" life?

Well, since I'm a fighter that's don't gives up so easily I was going for B. (But I don't blame you, I mean A was my first answear too!)

Or maybe this is a change to finaly start over, and live a healthy loong life, and enjoy it?

Haha! Just kidding, I'm not retarded!

Just had to take some pictures of Miranda Kerr. 'Cause this creature is stunningly beaiutiful and flawless. Plus she's a huge insperation these days, I mean just look at that body. Just a little workout and I'm there!