a painful life, no way out

I can't do it anymore, I can't hold it back.. It's literally streaming out, every single litle trear I've been holding back for the last couple of months, the time when I've wanted to cry the most. He's an ass, you know, a total ass. And I can't compite with him. I can't beat him, can't win. And you know what's the most pathetic? I'm afraid of trying. In fact, I fear him, cause I'm aware of what he is capable of. He'd admitted it himself a few times, what he would do if things didn't go his way, and what he would delightfully do to the person who made it go all wrong..... I'm just not sure if I'm strong enough, if I'll ever be, not just yet at least. I need to come to an age, first of it. Afterward's probably yes, you see I'm capable of doing everything that is in my power, as in killing, you see, he's worth nothing, absolutely nothing. All the harm he's cost to people, not just me. I just so badly wish that I knew how to take him down, how to end his life before he ends mine!

BE STRONG. BELIEVE.