between you and me, I'm not even exited

I don't know about you, but I am as lifeless as ever. There's no point in this, is there?

You see all my life I've been hopin to find something, something to prove me wrong.

But I'm slowly realizing that it will never come around.

Dark thought, right!?

Well, think about it.. I've been depressed for most parts of my life and even if it from time to time feels a little better, better as in not feeling anything, I know that I will never be completely cured!

Every day's is the same, you know.

It's like constantly living yesterday all over again!
And this is not how I'd like to spend my life, when I know there is something better out there. Something less painfull.

You see, over and over again I am going back to this.

Returning to what used to be hell.

Why?

Hmm, I guess the answer is as simple as a ride on a slide,

I love it, that's what's worth living for, if something really is.

Anyhow, I've been taking this ice-cold showers for a time back, the ones I used to love and hate at the very same time, the ones who makes me wanna take a knife and stab myself right at the very spot.

The more accurate description should prabably be the-bringing-back-both-memories-and-pain-showers!

Well, I suppose.. my life will never change and only I can decide if it's worth hurting or if giving up is the only way out of this agony!

BE STRONG. BELIEVE.