This beautiful Anja Rubik is to become a fashion designer, or at the least she has done a colection of shoes and bags for QUASI, just wish it acually was easy like that for a "normal" human like I. However I am truly happy for her sake..
I would seriously de a model, then I could, afterwards become a designer.. End of dream!
Anabela is one of my absolutely favotites. I mean just take a look at her brows- gorgeous! And her eyes- incredible! And not to mention her flawless skin, and BODY, so skinny, she is blody perfect!
I just wish I was allowed to look like that.. But do you know what bothers me the most? I nearly looked like that, and eat... They took it all away. And here I am now.. lifeless, hopeless, senseless and also am I in misery.. this all together not such a great combinatin, I assure you.. But since my "family" like it best when I do the false pretend, I do the false pretend.. Just hopes the big fake smile isn't to be worn out, cause then I'll be literally dead!'
I've been quite bussy lately, and also have I been living in no reach of a computer. So I suppose I have to excause myself for the lack of updates... And frankly I am sorry, I've missed this, writing and stuff, and I'll be better.. at least now when I finally have my very own laptop!
However.. I, unfortinally, have to call it a night. But tomorrow is a new day, and it'll go on like that for eternity, I suspect.
..even though I am still alive I haven't runned out of hope... yet.. or I did, but this picture brought it back to life.. I am going to look like this, I am one way or another, I'll find out how to make it!! Only 1 year and half an year left!!
It's not like you can blame me for wanting, badly I might just as well add, to look like that. Anabela and Snejana is totally adorable, skinny and................... PERFECT!
I haven't been in school for about 3 weeks, which was suppose to be a secret.. but the secret is out! They threathed once again to make me move.. but after playing some on my inocence, and cried and so on, they let me stay on some terms, though...
1)Eat, in school as well, he'll probably have someone watching me..
2)Go to school, which I want to quit btw.
4)Be happy, well I'm ceartinly not, so pretending is obviously what my life will depend on, if I could become an actress or not!
How can they even demand such a thing? I mean the did pretty much extinguish my hope and turned all my dreams down, and the have the guts to demand happiness out of me?
Well, if this is what they want.. then I wont eat in vain anymore!
Take a look at this marveous creature, she is PERFECT for crying out loud!
In a few years, hopefully, I'll look like that. Then I'll be unstopable, I'll be PURE PREFCTION!
There is one thing I dont understand though.. Why do people have to be so jellouse? Why cant the allow me to look insanely beautiful as one of those runway models ? It's not fair, and do not tell me that life is not fair cause it would be if people cared less about eachother and more about thereselves.. But they are to retarded, egoistic, envious and ... I cant even find the right word to continue this sentens, that's incrediously bad!!!
However.. the question remains, is it worth living as a prisoner in one and half an year tops, or is suecide something to suspect?
Essyy, when/if you read this I might not be alive, and then I just want you to know that you cant give up, you have to fight it, for me and for you, for finding happiness once and for all!