Sunday, March 21, 2010

I am....

..horrible, hideous, unkind, selfish, terrible, ungenerous.. ect. ect. ect.
I think you're getting it. You see, I manage to hurt my little sister yet again. And what bothers me the most, is that I know what I have to do, but I don't really care.
The thing is I can't change.. I'm way to weak! I hate myself the most.
You should have heard the cute, overwhelming voice of hers when I called! And I just broke it with telling her that I wasn't going to be able to make it because I was 'unwell', as I like to say. She even begged me to come anyway, and I changed the subject. I couldn't listen to her, I just wanted to cry, to tell her that I was comming and that I wasn't ill, that I lied from the very begining. Typical me though, caring the most about my dignity and the least about my sister.
So I'm guessing you are agreeing at this point, aren't you?
I can't continue this.. I have to change. Transform myself into a less selfish - a generous and trustable, a sweet and unshy - me.
Do you have any clue at all what this spells?
'Cause I'm sure if I can't! I've tried lie a million time and over that.. but it seems quite impossible!

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