Sunday, January 17, 2010


My worl is falling apart, day by day! Do you have any clue at all how that feels? Every second of evey single day I am beeing the fat one. Today I was at a relative of my stepmothers, it was her birthday, however. I couldn't even manage to smile, though, I blamed my cold. But I can't do that every day, can I? Anyhow, I couldn't eat much either, I was the fat one there, so damn insanely ugly. What on earth am I supposed to do, when I can't even seise one day, one day!Though the thing is, I can't do it, not now for that matter.
Sincerely speaking I am really naive, you know. I did aske myself the question today: Why do you go on breathing when you constantly wish for death? And the truth is.. I every day hope for a better tomorrow, I'm living to see another more pleasent, memorable day. I am aware of the fact that this sounds truly navie, cause the world is what it is, and it is not going to change! However. I just want to be something, someone. Frankly I don't stand failing, I don't do it. In the end I make it, that's what I do! And that's simply why I' am not ready for death as it is!


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