Tuesday, November 17, 2009

MK obsession

If I were, like MK, gifted with beauty, I wouldn't need to work as hard, to feel beautiful and to be satisfied. In that case I would have been since day one!

This is the only way to get passed this unbearable misery, by suffering, pretending it doesn't exist. It's probably not the right way, I'm sure.. but honestly would you bring up something that only would cause more pain than it already has?
However.. Yet again I've been considering it. You see, I'm going to see him again, and when leaving there, I don't know that to do.. Everything's quite a disaster! But the thing is, I have no idea at all why I can't persuade myself to commit it. I mean, I'm not even afraid of death, but to mention, I'm terrifeid of living.. Not being able to predict the future scares the hell out of me!
Though I think I might have a pretty good reason after all.. to not succeed. You see, I would be locked up in rehab for a looong while, indeed. Because I hardly believe that the people who I happen to live with would do all too great handeling a suicidal attempt all by them self, hardly!
Well, 508 day and I'm free once and for all!

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