Saturday, November 14, 2009


You know, it feels like I'm hidden behind a mask.. Well, obviously you don't know, I suppose.. Never be able to be yourself, always afraid of what people might actually think of you, of how you act, naturally...
Nowdays, it's worse than every...
Before I would have called myself ugly, fat and hopeless.. These days it's more like FAT, FAT, UGLY, hopeless + senseless!
Well, thinking back, I suspect I looked kind if thin.. But they took it away.. I mean of course they did.. everyone want thin, though just some of us have the possibility to get it, to fight for it.. But the thing is, they didn't just take my thiness away, as a resault, they took my freedom.
How? Well, you see, I'm frighten, no.. I'm terrified walking out of the house, I'm too ugly now, too fat to even matter, to senseless for existing.. I'm a ... I can't even say it out loud!
Though Ihave to believe.. Have to stay stong, have to fight on.. I have to make it, to be something mattering... How am I suppose to do that?

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